The word paraphilia has quite a history in itself. A lot of people associate it with dark and murderous sexual behaviours. However, paraphilias are much more complex than that. Let’s dive into the complexity of the word!

The Overall Generalization Of Paraphilias

People automatically associate paraphilias with sexual depravity, often leading to criminal acts. However, that isn’t the case, and more precisely, one is not exclusive to the other. We owe this misconception to centuries of shaming sexuality, religion, and close-minded doctors and pharmacists.

We are aware that medical procedures have to start somewhere and that it is understandable mistakes would occur. Like many other fields, medicine depends on learning and experimenting. However, some of the worst horror stories of learning come from psychiatry. 

Over a century ago, when the word paraphilia came to light, psychiatry wasn’t at its best yet. People didn’t know that paraphilias were sexual interests that showed persistence and recurrence. Paraphilias are urges and behaviours intensified by the involvement of activities or objects in specific manners to satisfy the person. 

Paraphilias have to do with fantasies and desires that involve more than one’s mind. Many people don’t need the imagination to obtain sexual satisfaction, and that had doctors create boxes. One link between paraphilias and obscure actions was crimes. For that reason, paraphilic people were not only labelled but also seen as criminals.

A Short History Of The Beginning Of Paraphilias

Friedrich Salomon Krauss coined the term paraphilia in 1903. Wilhelm Stekel made the word regular in the 1920s. The etymology of paraphilia comes from the Greek language, with ‘para’ meaning ‘other’ and ‘philia’ meaning ‘loving.’ But it was in the 1980s that John Money asserted the popularization of the word paraphilia as a non-derogatory word for obscure sexual interests.

There are a variety of terms to describe sexual fantasies and behaviours. But what should be considered atypical or unacceptable is undebatable. What works for one person might not work for the next. Sexuality, like beauty, is relative to the person’s eyes and receptors. There can be no ‘wrong’ and ‘right’ list when it comes to sexuality.

Because religion was the primary source of what was acceptable sexually, many of the definitions and lists of ‘sexual depravity’ are now outdated. Despite many efforts throughout decades, as Psychiatrist Glen Gabbard said, “The term paraphilia remains pejorative in most circumstances.”

Remember that paraphilias aren’t criminal as long as they aren’t used in that specific manner. In the late nineteenth century, psychiatrists began updating lists of paraphilias and integrated sub-categories that disregarded religion and the law to differentiate paraphilias that were non-criminal from those that could potentially be used criminally.

The Outdated Studies Performed On One Half Of The Planetary Population

This is where the feminist in me is a little enraged. Due to millennia of disregard and overly fantasized image of a woman, psychological, like physical, studies were and, in some cases, still performed solely on men. This causes falsified results and can be fatal in diagnostics.

The reason for null results when it comes to sexuality is because medical fields were and, in some places, still are dominated by men. The lack of solid statistics results from this abnormal image of a woman being pure, a virgin, unaware of what sexuality is, and obedient. Sadly, that’s a fantasy and not reality.

Moving on to the performed studies done on two hundred heterosexual men because that’s how we base all of our decisions today. A test was done on that class of men based on the Wilson Sex Fantasy Questionnaire exam. This was to separate older siblings from younger ones and only children to see if there was a prenatal neurodevelopmental factor. There is.

“One established, masturbatory fantasies about the stimulus reinforce and broaden the paraphilic arousal.”

Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

It’s the excessive prenatal estrogen exposure that could help create paraphilias in men, meaning it is more prone to develop in younger siblings, usually more than two. That is due to the woman’s body producing more estrogen each pregnancy.

Another fun fact: left-handed men had more than one paraphilia. This shows that disturbed hemispheric brain lateralization may contribute to the development of paraphilic attractions. Paraphilias are conditioned in early life and linked to a specific moment that attached itself to sexual arousal. 

The Outdated Status Of Paraphilias

For the longest time, paraphilic people were seen as people with psychopathic tendencies and personality disorders, if not sociopathic. For a time, people with paraphilias were viewed as criminals. It didn’t take much either: Do you like feet? You’re a murderer! As simple as that.

Of course, over time, corrections were made to the psychiatric history of paraphilias. Now, we know the difference between fantasies and those who make those fantasies a reality. Because let’s not forget that fantasizing about forcing yourself on someone as role-play with a consensual adult isn’t the same as raping an innocent.

Despite the advancement in separating sexual arousal from criminal actions, society still looks down on sexuality, especially if you are a woman. A woman can be objectified, but is she allowed to have heavily dark and obscure fantasies? Not unless in a book or a television series. People like to look, not do. Society likes to pretend and not be.

Whether it is bondage, blindfolded, burning, suffocation, masochism, sadomasochism, odaxelagnia, vorarephilia, bleeding, spanking, whipping, humiliation, or forcing oneself on someone, those are basic paraphilias that some of us practice as women and couples. 

‘Regular people’ commonly have “paraphilias,” mostly in voyeurism, foot fetishes, humiliation, exhibitionism, and dominance. Roughly one in a hundred people can have a soft paraphilia among men. According to the research you now know could be outdated, it’s lesser among women, to say very rarely. I must be quite a gem!

The Difference Between Soft Paraphilias And Full-Blown Paraphilias

Back in the day, paraphilic people were either misdiagnosed as schizophrenic or egosyntonic. Needless to say, that is quite a jump between the two diagnostics in medication matters and could be quite damaging.

But what constitutes soft paraphilias are often common fantasies such as dominance over someone. A teacher and their student, a priest and a nun, a dungeon master and their slave. Another is humiliation in common words such as bitch, slut, whore, boy, cocksucker and so on. Fetishes for things such as feet, balloons, food, cars, and involuntary bodily functions, such as sneezing, are also quite common.

The stop to soft paraphilias to the beginning of “full-blown” paraphilias is unclear and grey. However, it often starts with practices that are less common to some and utterly obscure to the masses. It also goes with the intensity. You can practice BDSM with a little faux soft leather whip or go with a metal edge punctured leather whip dipped in vinegar. The intensity can be the decisive factor.

Many paraphilias have sub-categories due to their broad terms, like sadomasochism, which can be achieved in various ways. Sadomasochism can be oral or physical. When physical, are we talking about spanking or bleeding? Even with odaxelagnia, the paraphilia of biting, there’s a difference between nibbling and leaving a bruise for the morning after.

What Is There To Take From This Paraphilia Article?

The most crucial point is to remember that research and studies have to be updated and conducted on both men and women—not separately but together—so that we can change our views of sex division. We are stronger working together than against one another or individually. Include every person of any sexual interest so that the data is accurate for the time we live in.

Paraphilias become crimes only when performed as such. Sexual activities should always be consensual and safe for both partners. Sometimes, paraphilias require assistance from a therapist to help us understand ourselves better and learn that a safe word could be crucial in the relationship. We must know our limits and respect them.

For the longest time, paraphilias were misdiagnosed, and people misunderstood. Paraphilic people lived under the thumb of the church and society. If sex wasn’t performed in a specific manner within a particular setting with an obedient wife who was a virgin the day she was married, it was criminal and could involve a trip to an insane asylum.

Sexuality is a topic that will forever remain taboo and prominently dominated by men. I know many women with paraphilias as dark as mine, yet according to research, I should be the only one in a group of way over a hundred people. The conclusion here is to be yourself, be proud and live your crazy little freaky fantasies safely, healthily and most importantly, sexually.

OCD Vampire