When someone says “goth” or “gothic,” most people automatically think of Marilyn Manson or scary-looking people. Being goth is so much more than that.

I Was Goth Before I Knew It

At thirty-seven years old, I believe I do know a big chunk of myself. I think I was born goth. I just didn’t know it. Or maybe I knew it, but the people raising me didn’t want me to be goth. They tried and shoved the Barbie look down my throat. It didn’t work. Goth shaming is a thing and it is dreadful.

My grandparents raised me. I am an only child, and so is my mother. As for my father, he left not long after I was born, never to return. My grandpa loved me no matter what I looked like. But, my grandmother was all about appearances. She never shied away from letting me know she wanted me to have blond hair and be lady-like.